Before I start anything new...

Unique Perspectives: Before I start anything new...

By Kim Stevens

Stop. Keep. Start.

I had a coaching call this week, right in the quiet space between the old year and the new. I found myself smiling as I talked about how I’d been preparing for the year ahead. An acupuncture appointment. A vision board. Time set aside to reflect on the past year. A few personal rituals I return to again and again to honor endings and beginnings.

All of it intentional.

Like many of us, I notice that as a new year approaches, there’s a familiar question that tends to rise to the surface: What am I going to start doing?

New habits. New goals. New intentions. New versions of ourselves.

This year, my coach offered a simple exercise that I just LOVED. She suggested making three lists: What I will stop, what I will keep, and what I will start. Then she added something that felt quietly radical. She said the stop list should be the longest.

Really?!

But as I thought about it more in my experience, both as a human and as a life coach, real progress comes far more from what we stop doing or let go of than from what we add. Most of us aren’t stuck because we aren’t trying hard enough. We’re stuck because we’re carrying too much. Too many commitments. Too many expectations. Too many habits, beliefs, and relationships that once served us but no longer do.

Starting something new often feels energizing and hopeful, but it can also add pressure. Stopping creates space. And space is where clarity lives.

Letting go isn’t passive. It isn’t quitting. And it certainly isn’t failure. It’s a conscious choice. It’s deciding to stop over-committing. To stop engaging with people or patterns that drain more than they give. To stop explaining ourselves when no explanation is required. To stop numbing, rushing, or proving. To stop repeating stories about who we are or what we think we can’t do.

This kind of stopping takes courage. It’s quieter than goal-setting and far less celebrated, but it’s often the work that changes everything.

There’s also something fitting about this practice at the beginning of the year. Nature doesn’t start the year by blooming. Winter is a season of release and rest. Trees let go of their leaves. Nothing looks productive, yet everything essential is happening beneath the surface.

Maybe the invitation of the New Year isn’t about doing more, but about putting something down. About asking what no longer belongs in the life we’re creating.

So as I move into this year, I’m approaching the exercise in this order: first, what I will stop. Then, what I will keep. And only after space has been created, what I will start.

I’m trusting that who I become this year will have less to do with what I add and more to do with what I release. Less force. More truth. Less noise. More alignment.