Unique Perspectives: The Law of Opposites... By Kim Stevens Maybe This Is Exactly What I Asked For. I've noticed something. Every time I got serious about being a certain kind of person, life seemed to present me with the exact opposite. I decided I want to be more peaceful. Here comes someone who irritates the hell out of me. I decided I'm not going to try to control everything. Suddenly, everything feels out of control. I choose trust. Perfect. Here's some uncertainty. I de

Unique Perspectives: The 4 M's - Part 2 By Kim Stevens The Four M’s: Part 2 - Empowered or Dependent? Last week I ended with a question: Why is it so difficult to let other people live their own lives? I suggested that underneath a lot of our mothering, managing, manipulating, and martyrdom is fear. We're afraid they'll fail. We're afraid they'll get hurt. We're afraid their choices will somehow become our problem. We're afraid we won't be okay. But there is another layer to

Unique Perspectives: The 4 M's... By Kim Stevens The Four M’s: Part 1 - When Caring Becomes Controlling. Some of my most controlling behaviors have looked remarkably like love. Helping. Fixing. Reminding. Advising. Taking care of things. Trying to make life easier for someone I care about. All good things. Until they aren't. In recovery circles, there is a concept known as the Four M's: Mothering, Managing, Manipulating, and Martyrdom. I love this framework because these beha

Being Self-Possessed. Unique Perspectives: Becoming Self Possessed... By Kim Stevens I've always loved the idea of being Self-Possessed. Not because it describes someone who has all the answers or never gets upset. But because it describes someone who remains connected to themselves. Someone who isn't easily carried away by every emotional wave, every opinion, every criticism, every unexpected event. Someone who possesses themselves. I spoke about self-regulation in last week

Living Organically… Unique Perspectives: Are You Living Organically? By Kim Stevens I recently read something that I just LOVE. And something I have been practicing a lot lately… It's the idea of living organically rather than mechanically. There are many parts of life that benefit from precision, planning, and strategy. The mechanical mind is a wonderful servant. But I wonder if we've quietly allowed it to become our guide. It seems we've become conditioned to approach almos

Unique Perspectives: Closing The Tabs. By Kim Stevens Closing The Tabs. I didn’t even know this was a thing. Well… I knew it was a thing for me every time my son Max would come look at something on my computer and see how many tabs I had open. “Mom,” he’d say, “what the hell are you doing with all these tabs open??!!” He just doesn’t understand how many things I have to do and deal with. And if I close a tab, I might forget something important. Honestly, I don’t even really w

Unique Perspectives: Miracles Are Natural... By Kim Stevens Miracles… Back in 2008 I was going through a really tough time. Chemo, radiation, surgeries. If you’ve ever gone through it, or watched someone else go through it… you know what I mean. It was during this time that I heard the book A Course in Miracles referenced. Not once, but three different times. By people I really liked. People I respected. Not just for what they said, but for how they were. How they saw the wor

Unique Perspectives: You need to contend with this... By Kim Stevens What if the thing you’re pushing against… isn’t actually pushing back? This idea is so life-altering, in my humble opinion. Mostly because at first, it doesn’t feel true at all. It feels like of course something is pushing back. Life, people, situations… There's friction everywhere. There are things to figure out, problems to solve, people to navigate. Things to contend with! But what if that’s not actually

Unique Perspectives: Generally Speaking... By Kim Stevens Generally speaking, sometimes getting specific is the worst thing you can do! I swear, this is one of the most helpful things I ever learned. I heard it from Abraham Hicks at some point. I have no idea where, but I loved it instantly and started applying it immediately! So here’s what I mean. You know when your brain grabs onto something and just will not let go? Like… trying to figure out how you’re going to pull some

Unique Perspectives: Let Go & Let God... By Kim Stevens Let Go and Let God… I’ve been practicing this a lot lately. Sounds so simple. Easy. But it’s definitely not! In fact, I think it takes a lot more than faith. It actually takes discipline. Isn’t that odd, that letting go would take discipline? I know so many of you reading this will get it. It’s turning the old, “Don’t just sit there, DO SOMETHING!” upside down… to “Don’t just do something, SIT THERE!” Because we live in

Unique Perspectives: Flack, After-Burn & Muscle Building... By Kim Stevens Flack & After-burn: Boy did I learn about these two. Honestly, more than I wanted to. But it was all for the good. I’ve shared before how I crashed and burned trying to keep everyone else happy, and how that way of living eventually caught up with me in the form of stage III breast cancer. That was my turning point. It was the moment I realized that if I didn’t change the way I was doing life… I might

Unique Perspectives: Same Dance. Different Relationship. By Kim Stevens There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately… We hear a lot about the laws of the universe. Law of attraction… law of resonance… energy… alignment. And sometimes it can feel like they’re either working for us or against us. But I don’t think that’s it at all. The laws don’t take sides. They don’t bend. They don’t decide. They’re not personal. They just are. It’s more like the wind. If you’ve ever bee

Unique Perspectives: Choose Your Audience Wisely... By Kim Stevens I came across this piece years ago and it has stayed with me ever since. It’s simple. It’s honest. And it’s one of the clearest reminders I know about the importance of who we surround ourselves with. Everyone Can’t Be in Your Front Row Life is a theater… so invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front-row seat in your life. There are some people in your life that need to be l

Unique Perspectives: Freedom, Love & Boundaries? By Kim Stevens Boundaries & The Law of Motivation: Have you ever done something “loving” for someone… and then felt completely exhausted, resentful or even a little depressed afterward? Yeah… me too. For a long time this confused me. I thought if something was done in the name of love, it was automatically good. Turns out that’s not always the case. And before I begin, let me say that almost everything I’m sharing here comes fr

Unique Perspectives: Can I be direct with you? By Kim Stevens Directness. There have been times in my life when I’ve been accused, or maybe complimented, for being direct. Some people don’t see directness as a positive quality. I completely disagree. I didn’t always operate this way. I used to soften everything. I would beat around the bush, people-please, and avoid saying what I really needed to say. Here’s what I’ve learned. When people aren’t direct, it’s hard to trust the

Unique Perspectives: Walking on eggshells? By Kim Stevens Principles Above Personalities: There’s a recovery phrase that changed my life: principles before personalities. At first, it sounded simple. Almost obvious. It wasn’t. For years, I operated my life based on personalities. Don’t say that… he’ll get angry. Be extra careful… she’ll take it personally. Better smooth that over. Better hide this. I wasn’t being thoughtful. I was afraid. Some people move through life with su

Unique Perspectives: This is Urgent! By Kim Stevens The Illusion of Urgency. Last week we had Marty Wolff, a highly regarded business consultant, come into our company to teach on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He’s one of the real-deal experts, so respected he’s endorsed by Stephen M. R. Covey, the son of Stephen Covey himself. So no fluff. No Pinterest quotes. The real stuff. And we spent a good amount of time on something that sounds simple… but is not. Urgent v

Unique Perspectives: Is it me? By Kim Stevens Is it me? There’s a phrase my meditation instructor uses that I just love: Supportive Nature. He describes it as those moments when things simply line up. When the right person shows up. When timing works in your favor. When a decision feels clear instead of conflicted. When life feels less like something you’re managing and more like something quietly working with you. At first, I might have called it luck. Or being blessed. Or s

Unique Perspectives: I'm all FOR it! By Kim Stevens Living FOR vs. Living AGAINST I’ve been thinking lately about why so many of us feel tired or tense… even when things are going just fine. I think it often comes down to this: we’re living AGAINST something instead of FOR something. Most of us don’t realize how much energy we spend worrying about what we don’t want to happen. We worry about failing. About disappointing people. About things falling apart. About losing momentu

Unique Perspectives: Before I start anything new... By Kim Stevens Stop. Keep. Start. I had a coaching call this week, right in the quiet space between the old year and the new. I found myself smiling as I talked about how I’d been preparing for the year ahead. An acupuncture appointment. A vision board. Time set aside to reflect on the past year. A few personal rituals I return to again and again to honor endings and beginnings. All of it intentional. Like many of us, I noti