Playing with It

Unique Perspectives: The Power of a Reframe

By Kim Stevens

Harvard University wants to fix broken hearts.

In an article written by Harvard’s Stress & Development Lab, the famed academic institution says after a break-up, instead of wallowing in your post-break-up sorrow, you could think about all the opportunities you’ll now have to meet new people, the lessons learned from your past relationship, the gratitude felt for having spent time with the person... In other words, you could practice positive reframing, which is a fancy term for reevaluating a problem to overcome it in a whole new way.

When I reframe ideas, I’m altering the motivation behind my action, bringing a different intention to the obstacle in front of me. Reframing can be as powerful as it is life-changing, and over the course of my studies, I’ve learned a key reframe that has transformed how I approach challenges throughout my career.

Some people talk about “work” like they’re sludging through an epic snowstorm, as if once that heroic journey is complete, there’s a golden treasure chest waiting for them on the other side. They use words like “tough,” “grind,” “haul,” “uphill battle,” implying the work is somehow preventing them from getting where they need to go.

A reframe I’ve found that never fails to untangle that mental snag is to change the phrase from “working on it” to “playing with it.” And why shouldn’t work be play?

I don’t believe in hard work. I believe in following my passion – and my job is my passion. This eliminates the “hard work” element from my every day because it never feels like work at all. It feels like joy. It feels like excitement. And when it doesn’t, I find a way to make sure it does. I’ll walk around my office. I’ll go outside and sit on the porch. I’ll listen to a good playlist until that lightness returns to my heart and I feel ready to go about playing with the task that jammed me up in the first place.

“Playing with it” also eliminates the stress of perfectionism. While at play, I feel less worried about making something perfect. I’m not on a tedious fault-finding mission, I’m just having fun! Having a mindset filled with good-natured playfulness makes for a much more inspired process, and from that place of endless inspiration, I find that the outcome of whatever I’m doing is much better than it would have been had I kept trudging my way through it.