Misery Is a Mindset

Unique Perspectives: Misery Is a Mindset

By Kim Stevens

There’s an interesting dichotomy that I think about often, not only because it’s posted in our office, or because Vince Leisey (President, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Ambassador Real Estate) brilliantly explained it at a past Sales Convention and it’s stuck with me ever since … but also because it can instantly provide a “mindset reset” any time I’m feeling off.

The dichotomy? Scarcity vs. Abundance.

Life Coach Michael Hyatt came up with the original chart that I’ve got hanging in the office, which breaks down the simple yet powerful disparities between scarcity and abundance. Here’s what Hyatt says about the difference between the two:

“Scarcity: There is never enough.

Abundance: There is always more where that came from.

Scarcity: Stingy with knowledge, contacts and compassion.

Abundance: Happy to share knowledge, contacts and compassion.

Scarcity: Default to Suspicion; hard to build rapport.

Abundance: Default to rapport and build trust easily.

Scarcity: Resents competition. Makes the pie smaller, them weaker.

Abundance: Welcome competitors. Makes the pie larger, them stronger.

Scarcity: Asks self: How can I get by with less than expected?

Abundance: Asks self: How can I give more than expected?

Scarcity: Pessimistic about the future; tough times are ahead.

Abundance: Optimistic about the future; the best is yet to come.

Scarcity: They think small, avoiding risk.

Abundance: They think big, embracing risk.

Scarcity: They are entitled and fearful.

Abundance: They are thankful and confident.”

I love how Hyatt explains this dichotomy because it reinforces that feeling scarce or feeling abundant is all about my mindset, and I can change my mind anytime I want.

My brother, Joel, also reminded me of this many years ago during a particularly chilly wintertime in the Poconos when several things around the office seemed to break … in the most expensive way possible. The topper was that the septic pipes froze and we had no water. It all built to a sense of scarcity that I was having trouble shaking. I felt slightly paralyzed by the situation.

So, I called my brother (who also happens to be my financial advisor), scared about how I was going to pay for everything. As suspected, he knew just what to do. He said: “Get $20 out of your wallet right now, go to the supermarket, buy some canned goods then take them to …”

He gave me an address.

I did what he said and realized the address was a food bank, and I had just brought them $20 worth of food. I sat in my car for a moment and exhaled … in gratitude, realizing I had so much, and so much to give. My scarcity instantly dissolved and transformed into feelings of abundance, appreciation and dare I say, delight.

Martha Beck, one of the life coaches I’ve trained with, says something I really love: “To the extent that you feel misery, your energy is asking to be reinvested. Misery literally means the feeling of being a miser. If you’re miserable, stop hoarding your life energy. Spend it now. Make a choice. Any choice.” I love that. 

I now know the line between scarcity and abundance is delicate, almost invisible, yet can shift in a heartbeat. It can change while glancing at the Scarcity vs. Abundance poster in my office, or even during the simple act of buying groceries for someone in need. In these moments, I am aware that abundance isn’t about having more—it’s about my perspective. I no longer hoard my life energy, or anything else for that matter because I have had the revelation that what I have, right here and now, isn’t just enough—but more than enough to share.