Pillar No. 5: Living Purposefully

Unique Perspectives: Pillar No. 5: Living Purposefully

By Kim Stevens

How do I define “living purposefully,” Pillar No. 5 in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem? For me, it goes back to that question I was asked at a personal growth workshop years ago: What do I want people to say about me at my funeral?

Diving into the answer has been such an important personal investigation into my true, singular purpose. It forces me to ask myself what I want my life to have meant at its end, or what I want it to have all been about. Looking at life from that perspective is what living purposefully is all about for me.

In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, author Nathaniel Branden says we should look at feedback,  checking in with ourselves and examining whether we're on the right and purposeful path. For instance, if my purpose is to refresh, uplift and empower the individual spirit – and it is! – then am I accomplishing that purpose of my life? I can continually check in and ascertain whether I’m achieving my purpose or not.

Another element of living purposefully is the idea of focus and in particular, a focus on my vision. I love the idea of vision boards to keep me on track because circumstances and the chaos of everyday life can so often and easily get in the way, pushing my true purpose to the side in the wake of emails, phone calls, to-do lists … The next thing I know I’m not moving in the direction of my purpose, my goals, my visions, my dreams. When I keep my vision or purpose at the forefront of my mind, it’s always there, despite whatever else swirls around my day.  

Here are a few sentence stems to complete for the living purposefully self-esteem pillar:

• If I bring 5% more purposefulness to my life today…

• If I operate with 5% more purposefulness at work …

• If I am 5% more purposeful in my communications …

• If I am 5% more purposeful about my deepest yearnings …

• If I am 5% more purposeful about taking care of my needs …

  
  

I also love looking at living purposefully from the perspective of the personal. So often we think about purpose as a professional facet of self-esteem. The purpose of our career, our vocation, but what about our personal purpose? What about the purpose of having a healthy, loving relationship? The purpose of setting a good example as a parent? That’s HUGE.

Branden talks about a father who really wanted to encourage his son, but he would yell at him all the time, which made the son feel afraid. Then the father would ask him, “What’s wrong?” And the son wouldn’t speak up because he was scared to say anything. “SPEAK UP!” The father would demand, and while his intentions were good, the example he set was wrong. The feedback wasn’t working, which should’ve told him something was off. Paying attention to that feedback and the personal purpose of living is so key.

At the end of the day, for me, my purpose has to do with desire and alignment. Answering these sentence stems is a beautiful way to get to the truth of my deepest yearnings and desires. These are the clues to my purpose. Then, I go to God to be sure I am in alignment with the Highest Good for all. My experience is that if these two aspects are synchronized, then the Universe conspires to set all the pieces in place for me to live a magical life of purpose.