Staying Awake

Unique Perspectives: Staying Awake

By Kim Stevens

Most of what I write has to do with ways I’ve learned to look at things, and these lessons I’ve learned come from desire and from necessity. There were times I was in a tremendous amount of pain—sometimes physical pain, but mostly emotional, mental and spiritual pain. I’ve shared it many times before but it bears repeating. I had stage three breast cancer. I was almost financially bankrupt. My marriage was falling apart. My entire family moved away including my kids. I felt hopeless and helpless to do anything about what was happening. My mind was racing trying to figure it all out. That was the call. The call to adventure. The call to start The Hero's Journey.

And so I did. I answered the call. And what that looked like for me was a lot of boundary-setting and saying no. Last week during our coffee talk at work, a colleague shared a quote with the team that resonated with me … a lot: “Figure out what you want your life to be and say no to everything that isn't that.”

Yes, exactly, I love it. That was the beginning of my journey. It was a lot of saying no to what was not what I wanted my life to be.

What did I say no to, you might ask?

I said no to sacrificing my well-being for others.

I said no to giving more than I have.

I said no to running myself ragged.

I said no to believing that others have all the answers for me.

I said no to enabling dysfunctional behavior.

I said no to saying I’m OK when I’m anything but.

I said no to doing for others what they can and should be doing for themselves.

I said no to  allowing myself to be manipulated.

I said no to accepting unacceptable behavior, from myself or anyone else …

I could go on but I think you get the picture. I looked at what I wanted my life to be, and I said no to what wasn’t that.

Saying no was the beginning of learning about boundaries and also realizing that my boundaries were a bit skewed. This happened by no fault of my own, or even the fault of others. It's pretty much what society taught me, which was essentially this: “Listen kid, life isn't about you. It’s about what you can give to other people. Don't be selfish.” Those are all good suggestions when the appropriate context is taken into consideration. That, I was not taught. I had to learn it myself, which started with trusting that still-small voice inside my head that believed I am meant for more than this, the voice that told me to live free of fear and obligation. I know there is a magical way to live life and I wanted to live that way.

Esther Hicks says when you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. That’s how the awakening started for me, by admitting what I didn’t want and slowly finding a way to say no to those things. I definitely took the scenic route and not one as the crow flies …

So, where does that leave me right now? Today, as I sit here writing this Unique Perspectives to you, I’m in a more awakened state. My life is much more than what I say no to. But saying no was the start of it all, and left me a ton of room to figure out those things that made me say yes! The first yes was to the call for adventure, to take The Hero's Journey and answer the call. Life has been full of a lot more yeses after that. What else do I say yes to?

I say yes to my heart's desires.

I say yes to my own well being.

I say yes to doing the work to become whole.

I say yes to love.

I say yes to help and be helped.

I say yes to putting on my own oxygen mask first.

I say yes to happiness.

I say yes to being uncomfortable as I grow.

I say yes to all the good that the Universe has for me.

I say yes to living the Highest version of myself, which is a never ending endeavor. My cup overfloweth.

Today my perspective has changed. In a paradoxical way, my life is all mine now AND I am able to give so much more to others. I have become less selfish AND more selfish in the best possible way. I am living my grandest desire AND finding joy in living the will of God. I've learned that living an Awakened Life is one of Yes AND No. Yes, I am meant for more than this and No, I will not allow myself to experience life as anything less than the grandest vision of the great version of myself I believe God wants me to live.