What Does Resentment Really Mean?

Unique Perspectives: What Does Resentment Really Mean?

By Kim Stevens

Typically, feelings of resentment or irritation are thought to be negative, right? Well, I have a different take. 

I believe everything is helpful. Everything is a miracle. God’s got me and the Universe has my back not only during the peaks but also during the valleys. Each experience – high or low – can be helpful … if I let it. 

And that’s exactly how I’m able to turn resentment into something positive, realizing any negative feeling is an emotional guidepost, enlightening my understanding of what I might want, need or miss in my own life. What’s really bothering me during these moments isn’t something about another person; it’s a deeply personal reflection of what’s going with me. 

Now, whenever I have feelings of resentment or irritation, I ask myself: “Why are you feeling this way?” 

Maybe I resent a person for being too pushy, bulldozing our conversation with their own opinions, leaving me feeling irritated and totally annoyed. 

“Why am I feeling this way?”

Well, if everything is helpful (even these negative emotions), then I could realize I’m feeling aggravated during the exchange because I need a little bit of this behavior in my life. No, I don’t need to aggressively dominate every exchange I have going forward, but I do need to actively assert myself more and display confidence when expressing my point of view.

See? Resentment suddenly transforms from a detrimental mindset into a conscious awareness of how I can improve and reach my highest potential. It really comes down to a choice: Either I can continue doing things I don’t want to do, feeling resentful and annoyed, OR I can recognize the utility of those feelings. Then, I can find a better way to cultivate what’s causing that resentment, letting it enhance my life in wonderfully unexpected ways.